What Your Mother Wants: Four Gifts for the Wrist That Are Better Than Chocolate
Watchonista’s newest US contributor Barbara Palumbo hilariously selects four distinct timepieces for the mother in your life.
If you didn’t already know, spending for Mother’s Day is HUGE. Annually, the holiday rakes in 20.7 billion-dollars globally. It’s the third largest retail season in the United States, and yet how do the majority of Americans spend their money on the woman who either pushed their melon-sized head out of her tiny body or carried their children to term despite the smell of tap water making her hurl? By buying her flowers (which usually die before mom calls to thank you), chocolates (that she can’t have because of her acid reflux BUT KUDOS FOR NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO ANYTHING SHE SAYS), or cards (because that new dollar store in your neighborhood made it even easier for you to be comfortable with your proud mediocrity). Well this year gentlemen, it’s time to pony up some green and buy a timepiece for your queen, whether that woman is your wife, mother, girlfriend, baby-momma, or otherwise. And don’t dare for a second assume that she’d want something different, because the last time you made that assumption she wound up with a weed trimmer and we all know how that turned out (Poor Fred, Your cousin still has no feeling in his left foot).
Bvlgari New Serpenti
Here are some ideas of watches you should gift to the women in your life who have themselves created life:
Multiple Birth Mom
Not only should this mom win every argument in the house on the grounds that she both pushed your brother and you out and survived your teenage years, the woman also kept track of all your girlfriends through grad school without ever once calling Becky, “Lola”. With one brother building houses in Haiti and the other building websites in Wyoming, mom needs a watch that will help remind her which time zone her beloved boys are in. The Avenue C Dual Time watch from “The Avenue Collection” by Harry Winston will make it easier to remember when it’s a good time to call. Named after New York’s famed Fifth Avenue, the slight curvature of this Art Deco-inspired beauty’s 18K gold case allows for a more comfortable feel against the wrist, and after nearly twenty hours in labor with the two of you, “comfort” is something your mother deserves, tenfold.
Harry Winston Avenue C Dual Time
Upper East Side Mom
Mother to two, Grandmother to five, and newly crowned Great-Grandmother to one, this matriarch’s days of living for her kids are over, especially now that she’s dating Pablo the Peruvian Podiatrist (who also happens to be fifteen years her junior... GO GRANDMA!). And while her arthritis may make it more difficult for her to wear that twelve-carat tennis bracelet your late grandfather bought for her, she has always had a fondness for strikingly beautiful timepieces, which is why the Velvet Ribbon pearl sautoir necklace by Roger Dubuis is the perfect choice for a woman who prefers keeping her time closer to her heart. The diamond timepiece pendant is flanked by 19 rows of 266 onyx beads tipped by Akoya pearls which create a mirror-image white-on-black effect, coinciding with the theme of the main necklace. There is no “gray area” on this watch, just the way your Grandma likes it.
Roger Dubuis Velvet Ribbon Collier
“Wouldn’t Be Caught Dead in Yoga Pants in Public” Mom
This mom knows when and how to dress for appropriate outings and cringes when her child-free friends show up for tea at the Ritz sporting a ponytail and athletiwear when she herself shuffled three kids off to school on time and still managed to throw on her YSL lip stain. This is a woman who puts just as much emphasis on her appearance as she does everything else in her life, and as an accomplished author, part-time social worker, and board member of two local charities, “time” is the thing she values above all else. The new customizable Serpenti watch by Bulgari with wrap-around Karung snakeskin strap would make for an ideal present in a hue she loves, and since Bulgari is offering the piece in over 300 variations, you can no longer use the “it wasn’t available in your color” excuse.
Bvlgari New Serpenti
The Mom Who Showed You the World
One of your earliest memories as a kid was lugging your Cookie Monster backpack around Europe while your mother navigated each journey with her less-than-flawless grasp of whichever country’s language you happened to be in at the time. Now that you’re an adult, you realize just how much those childhood experiences inspired you, and how much your mom continues to do the same. She and you wandered rainforests in Brazil and prayed with patrons in Paris, but the place that your mother loved most was the one that came from deep within; the city that sent her ancestors on a boat toward America: Naples, Italy.
The Breguet Reine de Naples 8918 is a watch your mother not only will love because of its name, but one that will remind her of many of your escapades. The Tahitian mother-of-pearl face will summon memories of Papeete, and the pear-shaped diamond at the 6 marker will bring her back to an orchard in Tuscany where the two of you picked fruit in the summer of ‘86. You owe your adventurous spirit to this woman, and it’s time to show her just how appreciative you are.
Breguet Reine de Naples 8918
Oh, a few final things to keep in mind as you painfully pull your credit card from your wallet: watches can’t be eaten nor can they die a death without somehow being revived, so whichever watch you choose to buy will likely last her a lifetime. Fitting, considering your time exists because she created your life.