A Fantastical Tale of Being Stranded On An Island With Fiona Krüger

The beach we drifted onto was littered with shipwreck paraphernalia but any signs of human life were nonexistent.

“Ever watch Gilligan’s Island?” I asked her.

“No. Why?” she said.

“I just didn’t want you to get your hopes up.”

“Oh, we’re going to perish here, I’m sure of it. No question in my mind.”

As I nodded in agreement, we individually started collecting things that we thought might be useful. After an hour or so apart we met up in our original landing spot to compare treasures.

“Okay.” I sighed. “I’ve got three gluten-free Kind bars, two portable and fully-loaded phone chargers, one USB cable, a pair of Dior flip flops, a waterproof Bluetooth speaker, a GoPro, a travel watch case, a voice recorder, and this unopened biodegradable bag of sodium-free, gluten-free, flavor-free trail mix. If I didn’t think I was already trapped in my own Gen X hell, I have no doubts about it now.”

“Stop, that’s good stuff! All I found were these seven iPhones and this waterproof cooler filled with cans of mulberry and thyme-infused craft beer. Can’t you Americans just drink beer-flavored beer? And I want to know who invented a waterproof cooler that would survive a shipwreck? It’s a bit scary and yet also, ace.”

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t drink beer,” I said.

“SHUT UP. I DON’T, EITHER!”

“YEAH?! You know what this means, right?”

“That we’d rather dehydrate and die than drink a salad-flavored lager?” she asked.

“Well yeah, that, but also that we’re going to die together which means one of us won’t have to turn into a cannibal.”

((awkward silence))

“Most people think I’m a terrible Scot for not liking beer. Between the looks I get about that and the ones I get when I say I don’t like bananas, it’s a wonder anybody takes me seriously these days.”

“You’re saying I shouldn’t tell you about the field of banana trees I found about 100 yards back?”

“Yeah. Don’t. And don’t eat them around me. I can’t stand the way they sound when they’re being eaten.”

“Noted.”

As the sun centered itself in a teasingly cloudless sky, Fiona and I did our best to find shelter under some (non-banana) trees while toying with the technology we found to see if anything was in working condition.

“Oh, Fiona, I got this voice recorder working. I thought, you know, maybe we could record our last messages to our loved ones.”

“Bloody hell, that’s morbid. No. Let’s not use it for that... at least, not yet. Let’s have a little fun with it.”

“Okay. Karaoke?”

“Hmm. I have been listening to a lot of Bowie, lately. I mean, if you like the sound of a cat being swung around by its tail, then yeah, let’s go for it. But I was thinking something more along the lines of what we do for a living. You’re a writer. Get a little creative."
“Well, I could interview you. You know, get your take on your collections, and what your interests are. Plus, if we’re rescued in the next couple of days I’ll be able to meet my article deadline. BONUS.”

Fiona pondered the idea a moment before reaching into the waterproof cooler and cracking open a warm mulberry brew to wash down her meal of flavor-free trail mix and (what she believed to be) freshly picked papaya.

“Yeah. All right. Let’s talk,” she said, beckoning me to press the record button.

“Okay. (Clears throat before speaking into microphone.) This is Barbara Palumbo and I’m here on a deserted island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean speaking with Fiona Krüger about both her current and upcoming collections. Fiona, if you were to die tomorrow, what wou...”

“CAN YOU PLEASE STOP IT WITH THE DEATH TALK?”

“Sorry, okay, let me start again. Fiona, what do you want people to know about you and your collections that they may not already know?”

Fiona took a quick swig of her beer and winced before pausing to look out at the rippling ocean waves that had carried us safely to this oasis of eventual doom. Then, she began...

“What’s important for me is that people understand what the brand is about.”

She continued, “Subsequently, that will help them understand what each of our collections is about. We use the tagline, ‘An Artistic Approach to Haute Horlogerie.’ “Now, that wasn’t just to have some fancy mantra, and everyone loves to call their watches ‘pieces of art’ (which is a debate we could have for ages, though that’s for another tale) but that’s not what we did. That line is at the heart of what I do because my background is in fine art, so when I’m designing a watch I think of it in the same way I thought about the artwork I used to make. I could be creating a sculpture, or a painting; it just happens that instead of clay and paint my tools are mechanisms, and the incredible manufacturers and artisans I work with day to day. Does that make sense?”

“It does, yes. Go on,” I replied.

“So, the pieces come from a genuine place of creativity, and the design is developed out of a concept which underpins the whole collection. That concept must be relevant to the ideas of time and/or watchmaking. You know, something that I think ‘yeah, it makes sense to create a watch around that’ rather than any other item.”

Then, I asked Fiona if she ever thought about the concept of time itself; of it passing, or – as morbid as she’s insisted it was – of it running out.

“Yeah, I do think about it. Not all the time, but I think about it from a creative/artistic point of view; about how to visually convey that because it’s a universal idea. And I do think of it as something that’s running out for sure. It somewhat frightens me in that I never feel like I’m doing enough things quickly enough, though maybe that’s actually more of a motivating thought than a scary one. Just makes me want to do more, be nicer, spend my time being better with things that actually matter.”

“Okay, so, since we’re here on some deserted island after a shipwreck – which is pretty much the beginning of either a made-for-basic-cable horror movie or the next Pirates of the Caribbean film – this next question seems the most appropriate to ask: why skulls?”

She looked at me and laughed a little as if to say, I knew that question was coming, took another sip of beer, then spoke...

“I think people’s biggest misconception is that the skull design was something I developed to be ‘trendy.’ But the design stems from horological history and the use of the skull and the skeleton throughout the centuries; from the skeleton who chimes the hours on the astronomical clock in Prague, to the skull-shaped pocket watch owned by Mary Queen of Scots which dates to the 16th century when skull-shaped pocket watches were a trend for ladies. [And here we are thinking we’re being edgy now!] There are many examples of the skull motif being used, and it makes perfect sense. The writer Faye Dowling wrote, The skull is the ultimate symbol of life, death and human experience. What more perfect symbol to use to create a timepiece? And then there’s the idea that a watch could be in any shape you wanted, which for me stems from my visit to the Patek Philippe museum in Geneva, where in their historical collection they have watches shaped like angels, musical instruments, animals, and so on. It’s only recently that the outline of a watch case has become very standardized [except if you look at the incredible pieces of MB&F and Urwerk, but let’s not go down that rabbit hole. I could wax lyrical about how amazing they are for hours!].”

“Agreed,” I quipped.

“To put it plainly, the design itself is something which is universally recognized, which means whether you are into watches or not, you can relate to it. That was important to me. And while I can’t say everyone likes the design – which by the way was never a concern when I was creating it – everyone recognizes a skull and a skull says something different to everybody. Of course, there’s also the personal inspiration which influenced the design; notably my childhood in Mexico and my memories of DÍa de Los Muertos. My memories of that time are so vivid, and that festival holds such a special place in my heart, so that has played a big role in developing some of my design choices.”

“This is wonderful information, Fiona. Truly. I think this is going to make for a great piece if we survive this situation. Now... how about we discuss what’s next?”

“Right. Let’s. So, the new collection will have its own concept, and therefore its own design identity and shape, which is not a skull. For me, it’s basically starting from scratch, and I’ve had the idea for this new collection in mind for about two or three years now; the first doodles go back at least a couple of years, and now I’m in full design and development mode. It’s a massive job as it’s not only the design in terms of the aesthetics of the piece but also the mechanics, then there’s exploring different manufacturers and artisans to see what they do, how they work, and which techniques could be a great match for bringing my latest designs to life. When I design something it’s only about 50-70% complete before I meet with all the manufacturers and artisans. I only finalize the design after having met with them, and talked to them about the project to get an idea of their skills, abilities, materials, and what they do and don’t enjoy doing. All those things help determine the final design. I try to highlight within my work what they’re good at or what they’re proud of, and that’s how we come up with the finished piece.

It’s a true collaboration, but that’s how you get the best product, in my mind, anyway.

Apart from that I can’t say much.” She said with devilish grin.

“OH, COME ON, FIONA! It’s not like I can tell anybody. Other than that massive spider behind you, although he did just crawl into your beer.”

“Please don’t tell me that. I’m morbidly afraid of spiders. Seeing Arachnophobia. as a kid destroyed me for life.”

“Really? Well, tell me more about your new collection or I unleash Shelob from her beer can.”

“All right. I’ll tell you that it’ll be unisex, like all my watches are, because I don’t believe in ‘women’s watches’ or ‘men’s watches’ in the traditional sense anymore. I think those categories aren’t relevant, though that’s probably a very biased view based on my own work, but I’d love to see a definition of what a ‘man’s watch’ or a ‘woman’s watch’ should be. For me it’s just about creating a relevant design to the best of my ability - something that makes people dream and hopefully smile, and then whoever falls in love with it, falls in love with it. That’s it, though. That’s all I’m telling you.”

Fiona and I talked for what seemed like hours until we realized darkness was nearly upon us. As she prepared a place for us to rest for the night, I gathered some wood to try to start a fire. After fifteen or so minutes I returned to our base camp with the glow of roaring flames flickering behind me.

“How in bloody hell did you get it going so quickly?”

“Easy,” I said. “You didn’t find seven iPhones, you found six. One of them was actually a Samsung. All I did was attempt to turn the thing on and it blew up. BOOM. Instant campfire.”

Bananas, Boats, and Bowie: A Forged and Fantastical Tale of Being Stranded on an Island with Watchmaker Fiona Krüger